Whatever you do, don’t Google me. I beg you.

Okay, I wouldn’t be able to resist that warning either.

I can explain.

It’s probably better that we get this out of the way now, so I can dispel all those Gretta Goodson is a Massive Fraud headlines and that horrible #GrettaFakesIt. That thing can’t die a horrible death fast enough.

Until a few weeks ago, I was one of the biggest lifestyle influencers on the internet. It happened by accident, and I was more than willing to ride that roller coaster for all it was worth. The sponsorship offers, the mentions, the celebrity parties, and the money. Oh, the money was so good. And easy.

But eventually, every ride comes to an end, and I got ejected from the front seat once the safety belts had been lifted. Then I got run over by the next train.

Plant-Based Country Girl wasn’t exactly the scam all those haters on the internet would make you believe. I’d worked as a food stylist for years. The video channel accidentally started one weekend when I’d rented a cute cabin in the boonies and filmed myself making delicious, cozy food. I had so much fun doing it, I uploaded it so my friends could watch.

The last thing I expected was for it to go viral.

Viewers wanted more, and who was I to say no? 

There were a few problems with the arrangement. First, I lived deep in the heart of Boston, in a triple-decker apartment with my cousin, where we spent our free time licking our wounds from the tragic end of the relationships that were supposed to be our one-way ticket down the aisle. And I’d truly thought using the term plant-based instead of vegan gave me a little leeway with my food choices off camera.

I was over the moon when a major network offered to produce Plant-Based Country Girl as a cooking show. No more rented cabin and marathon shoot days on a shoestring budget. A cookware brand wanted to put my name on their new line, and offers to write cookbooks were flooding in. My agent was vetting the offers. I had an agent. More than one, actually.

Little ol’ me. Gretta Goodson. Domestic Goddess at your service. If I didn’t stop pinching myself, my poor makeup artist would have her work cut out for her covering the bruises.

Then all hell broke loose.  Someone uploaded a video called The Truth about Gretta—I can’t even say it without rolling my eyes—to one of the main gossip sites with photos of my actual apartment in the city. They insisted I’d hired my brother and nephew as actors when they appeared on the show because they’d unearthed my brother’s old modeling headshots. They claimed I didn’t know how to cook, using footage of someone I’d hired as a sous chef claiming she did it all. I could still feel the knife in my back. Then they found some grainy footage of me picking up takeout that looked suspiciously like a meatball sub so greasy the oil-stained the bag, which would never make the cut on Plant-Based Country Girl. 

It was for my ex. Unfortunately, my choices in men were as shaky as my career path.

Everyone saw what they wanted to see. The networks and companies who were so excited to work with me weeks before now wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole. My agents stopped answering my phone calls.

Enter The Real Werewives.

It might be a stretch to think I could redeem myself on a reality show, but this was the language I knew how to speak. Or so I thought.

The Real Werewives was the complete opposite of Plant-Based Country Girl. Stephanie, our executive producer, stressed that everything was shot in real time with no script. We’d been handpicked for this show by the wolf pack that owned this gorgeous ranch, and she’d stressed she’d do whatever it took for us to fall in love.

Now it was time to find out how real things would get. On shaky knees, I stood to join the five other women who’d been chosen for this season of The Real Werewives. I’d only met my roommate, Laura, this morning. Others came in throughout the day and got whisked right into the confessional.

“Why are you here?” Stephanie didn’t pull any punches with her first question to me when it was my turn to enter that little room.

“Because I want a chance to show everyone who I really am.” And if no one would give it to me, I’d take it by any means necessary. Even if it meant going on a dating reality show. Even if it meant…

“Our mission on The Real Werewives is to connect wolf shifters with their fated mates,” she reminded me. “Wolves mate forever. It’s a beautiful thing. Does that work with your vision of who you are?”

The problem was I’d been pretending to be someone I wasn’t for so long I needed to show myself who I really was too. “If this wolf is willing to come along for the ride, then yes, it does.”

She pursed her lips together, like she wanted to tell me that wasn’t how it worked. But she prided herself on the fact these shows weren’t scripted. If the pairing didn’t work, we could still have some fun with our failure, right?

But I had so many doubts. Was I too old, too chubby, too me to be a reality show star…again? Would I find a mate? My very first sigh of relief was when everyone seemed to be about my age…late thirties, early forties. These women looked like they’d lived exciting lives and they were ready to tell the world about it.

Stephanie grinned at us when we arrived on the patio. It was our first trip to Colorado Ranch proper. We were staying at a luxury ski chalet that offered gourmet room service twenty-four seven and a full spa. Hello, dream come true, it’s me, Gretta. Forget the forever mate. I’d be happy if I could just stay there for the rest of my life.  

The patio to what I assumed was the main house on the ranch was bigger and more tricked out than my old apartment, and the mountain views looked like someone had painted them on a backdrop. The sun dipped low, splashing the sky with an absolute riot of color.

Cameras were everywhere. They shouldn’t have caught me off guard because I’d been filming my own show for years, but I didn’t have control over this crew, or the outcome of this show. Any delusions of reclaiming my carefully curated life dissipated. 

“Ready to get started?” Stephanie asked.

A cheer rose from the group. If nothing else, these ladies were going to be fun, and even if I didn’t come out of this experience with a meticulously repaired reputation, maybe I could make some new friends. Mine seemed to have forgotten my phone number lately.

“I want to make sure everyone is crystal clear on The Real Werewives mission,” she said. “Our goal is to find you a mate. A forever mate. Yes, the men on this show really shift into wolves. I know there are some rumors that we fake that part, but nothing on this show is scripted or manufactured.” I swore her gaze landed on me, but she knew what she was getting when she invited me here. I’d made things pretty clear in my audition video. “Everything you do from now on will be filmed. There are surveillance cameras stationed throughout the chalet and the ranch. You’ll have your own camera person assigned to you, especially when you find a match, which I’m hoping everyone will have a chance to do tonight at the welcome party. Things are a little different this season. Usually, we choose the contestants without knowing if we’ll find a match, but these wolves need to find mates fast.”

“Why?” Laura, my roommate, asked.

“Because if they can’t produce an heir to the alpha line, they’ll lose this beautiful land.” Stephanie swept her hand behind her.

It was crazy to hear people actually use words like alpha and pack in real life. I’d watched the first season of the show, but that didn’t prepare me for being a part of it. Wolves usually weren’t city slickers, and this life was totally foreign to me. Was I about to make a fool out of myself again, proving I knew nothing about country anything? We were about to find out.

“This season, we showed your audition videos to the pack, and then let their wolves choose who they thought might be their mate.”

“So they’ve already decided we’ll spend forever with them?” one of the other ladies asked. If I remembered correctly, her name was Tiffany. She had a hand on her hip, and a skeptical furrow to her brow. When she said it like that, it seemed pretty creepy.

“Not exactly.” Stephanie chuckled. “I know it can be a lot when you’re first dipping your toes into this world. I’m human too. How can I explain it? When the guys are in their human form, they’re in constant contact with their animal. It’s not quite their conscience, but maybe like that best friend who’s always one step ahead and wants what’s best for them, even if they’re not ready to see it. So, their wolves have expressed interest in all of you. In a few minutes, we’ll give you the chance to do the same. But for the sake of the show, all the connections will look totally organic.”

Reality TV wasn’t so real after all. Sounded like sweet validation to me.

“Make no mistake, if you’re in, you’re all the way in,” Stephanie continued. “If you have any doubts, now is a good time to bring them up.”

“What if we’re not attracted to the wolf that chose us?” one of the other ladies asked. “And there’s no connection?”

“Then we go back to the drawing board. My goal this season is to find these wolves mates. But we want to make sure you’re happy too, Sunny. If you’re not, you’re free to leave and we’ll bring in someone else for your wolf.”

“There’s no guarantee we’ll actually get an episode?” I clarified. If I was going to make a comeback, I needed an episode.

She shook her head. “No, but I hope you do. Remember the most important thing. The wolves need to produce an heir to keep their land.”

“You mean, like one of us better get knocked up or else?” That definitely wasn’t in the welcome packet. No amount of champagne would’ve made me miss that.

“That’s exactly what I mean. Every one of you indicated you were interested in having children. In some cases, more children. If these pairings work, they’re forever. All of this was in your contract. But I know how sometimes important details can get overlooked, and I want to make sure we save all our drama for in front of the cameras.”

This was kind of backward and so crazy it just might work, but only Tiffany, the one who’d asked about a way out, looked like she was about to make a break for it. If I really had what it took to be a Real Werewife, my life would completely change. That was, if I could have a baby. I was forty-one years old, and things were reaching the tricky stage. The clock was ticking for me too.

Could I actually be the woman that I’d told everyone I was? I was about to find out.

“So we can leave if this doesn’t feel right?” Tiffany asked again.

“No one will be kept here against their will.” Stephanie frowned. If I were her, my first order of business tonight would be looking for a Tiffany 2.0. “I promise this will be fun. I found my mate on an earlier season. And no one was more resistant to being a Real Werewife than me. Once my episode is edited, we’ll have a watch party.”

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready to meet my wolf.” I stepped forward, wanting to get this party started before I let my own doubts get the best of me. “Come on ladies, you’ve seen the show. You know what to expect. A little hot wolf sex never hurt anyone. Will there be hot tub time this season?”

Stephanie’s face brightened. “Obviously you haven’t seen the pool yet. Yes, there will be as much hot tub time as you can handle.”

I grinned. I had this in the bag. “Excellent, but everything in moderation. No one wants a pruny mate.”

More laughter from the potential Werewives. Even Tiffany.

“Any other questions before I introduce you to the guys?” Stephanie asked. I had so many questions, but no one said anything.

“Before I bring them out, I’m going to show you their introduction videos.” Another crew member passed around note cards and paper. “Write down your thoughts. Would you like to go on a date with this wolf? All results are totally confidential.”

My heart was pounding. This was really happening. I’d very possibly committed myself to a man—sight unseen—forever. Had I lost my mind? Maybe. Then I remembered one of these wolves had already chosen me. My audition flashed in my head. Had I been real about myself in the video?

I was excited too. I hadn’t exactly had much luck with swiping every which way. Or speed dating. And that whole meet your soulmate at the supermarket thing was a total lie.

Stephanie hit play on the videos. I grasped Laura’s arm and gave it a squeeze when the first cowboy appeared on the screen. One by one, the men introduced themselves. Every last one of them was gorgeous and gave a little glimpse into life on the ranch, and what they hoped they’d find with their forever mate. There was no way any of us could go wrong.

How did we know if he was the one?

But when the alpha, Saint Lovell, appeared on the screen and said he’d do whatever it took to save this ranch, I drew a big heart around his name. I knew a little something about refusing to lose.

I tried to peek at the other Werewives’ cards, hoping we didn’t all choose the same guy. No luck.

Stephanie looked at the cards and nodded, making a few quick scribbles in her notebook.

“I think this will work.” She looked up at us and smiled. “Ready to meet the pack?”

The men stepped onto the patio. If there was any doubt these guys had an animal inside them, it was erased as they stood before us. This was the first time I’d ever been so close to a shapeshifter, and there was no denying the power each one of them held inside. It thrilled me as much as it terrified me.

Focus. Act cool. This isn’t your first rodeo, I reminded myself. This scene would definitely make it to air, and all my haters would be watching me. Critiquing me. Waiting for me to fail. Again. Disgust rolled through me at the thought that they could steal this moment. So I had to enjoy it. I took a deep breath and concentrated on the wolves, trying to guess which one would pick me to spend forever with him.

Tall and strong, they all wore slim-fitting jeans, button-down shirts, and cowboy hats that obscured their eyes. How perfectly infuriating. I couldn’t tell which one had his sights set on me.

An unfamiliar tension electrified the patio, and maybe I wasn’t the only one having that revelation.

“Welcome to The Real Werewives of Colorado Ranch. Here are the date pairings for tonight,” Stephanie said loudly, like she knew she had to pull us out of our own heads. I was terrified. What if she planned to set us up with the wrong guys, to keep the viewers guessing? No, she’d gone through this herself. And these wolves were racing against the clock to save their ranch. They didn’t have time to play games. But would she warn us when pitfalls were coming, or let us fall? “Laura, you’re with Mason. Sunny, meet Levi. Blaire will be having dinner with Austin. Roxy, meet Damon. Tiffany, you’re with Sterling.” She paused, but Tiffany didn’t object, and then she smiled at me. “Gretta, you’ll have the pleasure of Saint’s company tonight.”

I had questions, like had he chosen me too? Maybe there was something to this fated mate thing after all.

Saint stepped toward me and he was even better looking in person. In the twilight, with string lights illuminating the patio, I’d swear his eyes were purple. There was a little bit of gray at his temples, and his dark hair curled above his collar. A day’s worth of scruff dotted his chin. 

He tipped the brim of his hat in greeting. Oh, that was hot. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gretta.”

I didn’t know what to do after the hat tip—shake his hand or cut to the chase and rip my clothes off. “The pleasure is mine.”